What can I do if the other person with whom I share a conflict situation does not agree to participate in a mediation?  Or I am unable or do not want  to even ask the question?

Sometimes exploring the way we react to other people or situations, identifying alternative ways of behaving and working on specific concrete goals, can change the dynamic of an ongoing conflict situation.

Conflict coaching, like any coaching situation, involves :

• establishment of trust and mutual respect between the coach and the coachee (person being coached)
• a willingness on the part of coachee to sincerely try to make changes
• a time commitment (agreed between the coach and coachee up front)
• concrete goals identified and agreed to by the coachee
  
• periodic evaluation 

In addition, a conflict coach will help the coachee :

• identify what the current pattern of behavior in a conflict situation is
  
• identify what is working and what is not
  
• determine what concrete changes the coachee would like to work on
  
• identify and agree steps to reach what goals the coachee wants to work to achieve
  
• evaluate progress and next steps on a regular basis
  
  

A conflict coach will work with the coachee to identify what current behaviors may not be working for the coachee, what the coachee would like to change, identify steps to get to concrete goals, and support the coachee in regular review sessions to evaluate progress and identify next steps.  Conflict coaching can be useful in any of the situations where mediation is useful, if other parties are not willing or ready to participate in a mediation, or more generally where a person wants to improve their competence to deal with situations which feel like conflict

​​Paz Seeker 

Conflict Coaching